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11/13/22

Wow I really had 'rabbitholes' spelled incorrectly for like 4 months didn't I.

ANYWAY... some fun news: I got a pottery wheel!!! It's nothing too fancy, but I'm planning on setting up a little space for it so I can start wheel throwing at home.


Here's a pic of him :3 I'm thinking of naming him 'Chopper' cuz he spins...like a helicopter!

To do: read my work's kiln manuals to have a better understanding of how they operate (we have 6). A crackdream of mine is to someday be a kilnmaster, operating different kinds of kilns and fixing them all over the valley. Something something operating a bigass hot machine = masculinity.



11/10/22 - Friendship ended with MGS, The A-Team is my new best friend

Okay I have GOT to talk about this here or I will go crazy. I've been getting into the 1980's action/comedy show The A-Team because it ticks so many boxes (interest wise) for me. It's like, Metal Gear for silly people. Right now I will be talking about JUST THE TV SHOW which ran from 1983-1987. At a later date I will be watching the 2010 movie (again) to discuss in greater detail here.

The premise is- actually let me just copy paste the show's intro theme for you:

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them....maybe you can hire The A-Team."


Ok so, a ragtag group of outcasts [check], ex soldiers/POWs who oppose forces of power, including the corrupt military [check], unintentional (intentional) homoeroticism [check], my favorite archetypes (con man, suave cool man, weird/funny man, tough guy with a heart of gold) [check], 80's action and cheese [check], silly hijinks AND!! potential angst [check]...

I started watching The A-Team sometime in 2012 as something to put on while I get ready for school (why did I pick this show out of everything on cable??? No clue lol. I think I had just seen the 2010 movie and really liked it??). Anyway, I fell in love with the characters, the silly way they interacted with each other (FOUND FAMILYYYY), and the formulaic, but comforting plot of each episode. Let me tell you this, the show isn't groundbreaking, and after several episodes they definitely get stale. The running theme of the show isn't insanely deep either, but that's where *fanfic* comes in lol. Either way, this show was very influential to the birth of my story, Atomic Gothic, several years later. The comic's initial debut was through this (outdated) art video, which takes a lot of inspiration from the comedy and character elements of the show.

As far as the characters themselves, they are not exempt from 80's action stereotypes. Murdock's character (as the 'crazy person') did not age well, and from what I remember from the 2010 movie, he's not depicted much better there either (this still doesn't stop him from being my favorite character though). There are a few instances where the show depicts migrant workers (played by white people) and Native Americans (played by white people wearing mascara as far as I know) but the show depicts them in a sympathetic light, on the side of the 'good guys'. Idk man it was the 80s.

As far as homoeroticism goes (my favorite subject) you have your pink sweater wearing pretty boy Templeton 'Faceman' Peck who has quickly become my new favorite character during my rewatch. He reminds me Reigen from Mob Psycho 100, except more bisexual. Every moment he bashfully talks to a lady (or man) while performing his con artistry is a treasure. Also, if I remember correctly, there's a sexually charged episode with B.A. Baracus and Murdock where B.A. (played by Mr. T) has to get a blood transfusion from the insane pilot after he's shot. You see, B.A. hates Murdock's hijinks and it's just really cute.



I really want to try writing some fic, or drawing some art, even if the 'fandom' is small. Also, I really want to compile a 'best of Murdock' moments because he deserves that.







For the time being, here's a fic I recommend that made me want to write this review in the first place.



10/12/22 -This anime season is boppin!!!

Both my boyfriend and my dearly beloved friend Koinuko hung out yesterday to watch the new anime season, including Chainsawman, season 3 of Mob Psycho 100, season 2 of Pop Team Epic, and season 3 of Demon School Iruma-kun. And MAN!!! Anime rules!!!!

I can see why the Chainsawman manga is so popular atm, the first episode made me like Denji SO MUCH, I think he's a contender for Most Likable Protagonist of 2022. Or maybe I just have a type (boys who are kinda sad and kinda dumb). I can't wait to see what the deal is with the angel demon, or who the fuck Power is. My buddies have been keeping me spoiler free so I'm thankful for that. Also the OST SLAPS!!! Anyway, I'm gonna hang out with my pals again today and do some ~vintage clothes shopping~. Talk to ya again soon!



Grab your chips and salsa... next stop - Movie Town, USA!

I thought it was about time I have a 'favorite movies' section of my site!

Favs in no particular order:

  • Liar of the White Worm
  • Re-Animator
  • Terminator 1 and 2
  • Alien 1 and 2
  • The Thing
  • Rubber
  • Johnny Mnemonic
  • Blade Runner (the first one and the reboot)
  • Pacific Rim
  • Shape of Water
  • Pokemon: Lucario and the Mystery of Mew
  • The Holy Mountain
  • Valley Girl
  • Labyrinth
  • David Byrne's True Stories
  • Stalker
  • The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
  • True Grit (2010)
  • The Big Lebowski
  • Nope
  • Trolls 2
  • Absolute Favorites:

  • Raising Arizona
  • 2001 a Space Odyssey
  • Steak
  • Interstellar
  • Movies I need to watch:

  • The Lucky Dragon No. 5 (1959)
  • The China Syndrome
  • Godzilla (original)
  • Little Shop of Horrors
  • Narnia (again)
  • Phantom of Paradise
  • Squeeze It (Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo)
  • The Lost Boys




  • The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

    I wanted to watch this movie after seeing this post from the tboyswag tumblr account. Like I want to watch a whole movie just for this lad, who thankfully turns out to be super fucking awesome in the film. Angus Flint, played by young Peter Capaldi of Doctor Who fame, should win an award for being the most Scottish person to ever exist, and long lost clone of myself.


    What? You dont see the resemblance? Maybe it's the angle then-

    Anyway, he plays an archeologist in the movie, injects himself with anti-snake-demon-venom, wears a kilt, and hides a whole ass mongoose in said kilt.

    This is one of those 80s B-grade monster movies that has everything: beautifully weird nightmare scenes, sexy snake women, cults, bagpipes, awkward fight scenes, folk music, worms (so so many worms), and homoerotic tension. The film is labeled as a 'horror comedy' but the movie isnt so much funny as it is silly. I'm also not British so some of the 'jokes' probably flew over my head. Also content warning for like, weird/goofy sexual assault scenes. The movie doesn't dwell on these scenes for too long.

    Not much to say about this movie plot wise, its 90 minutes of monster shlock, fun characters, and the most insane bagpipes scene ever.





    9/14/22 - Atomic Gothic Music Iceberg lol (click for bigger image)



    Dont think too hard about my music choices LMAO I chose what would be funny/obscure to like me and 1 other person.



    Phoenix Zinefest 2022!

    9/20/22 - Yoooo!! Zinefest ruled!! I was a bit anxious before the exent, just because I've had a few bad experiences vending. Thankfully, the phx zinefest team is AWESOME and put together a super well run, totally accessible fest! I met a ton of friends and even a fellow neocities user! There were a ton of new faces, which is always great to see. It's nice to see the zine community being super accessible/low barrier to entry, especially here :)

    Incoming (unrelated) rant about my past vending experiences lol: I thought that (because I make art) I have to like...sell it ya know? Online store, online presence, art fests, all that jazz. The only thing is, etsy is expensive as HELL nowadays, social media does suck quite hard (if youre on neocities you already know this lol), and fests are a royal nightmare. I've attented vendor events, anime events, first fridays, second saturdays, art meetups, zine fests, etc etc. For one, it's difficult to host an event outside where it is regularly over 100 degrees for most of the year, in concrete strip malls and downtown areas. Heat bounces off the concrete making it a miserable experience for foot traffic and vendors alike. I've vended in downtown spaces, where your bathroom access is at the mercy of small businesses, often overcrowded with customers, and locked behind a keypad code. I've yet to see any easily accessible public bathrooms in my past vending spaces.

    These events also always take place on Friday or Saturday nights to pull the largest crowds (understandable). This does mean competing with the public for parking spaces or areas to load/unload your artwork. It would be awesome if our public transportation system worked, but it would be also more awesome if there was a way for artists load in hassle-free. Often, we're expected to provide all of our own lighting, tables, tents, chairs- everything. Buying my own 6ft table and chair cost around $100 and I've yet to buy a 10ft tent- around $300. Costs to create your art is expected (materials, printing costs, etc etc), but there are also vendor fees which absolutely suck. Now, I'm totally fine with paying a $20 fee, or even a $40 fee for like, a really large event...but I've payed upwards of $80 for an event with pretty spotty foot traffic...to sit in a char for 8+ hours in the heat. I've also seen unestablished small scale events have the audacity to charge upwards of $150 for a 6ft space. I don't even wanna see how much anime cons are LOL, last I heard, our local large convention was charging something like $400 for a full weekend vendor spot. Which I guess... is worth it if you make quadruple that...if youre fine with sitting at a booth for 30 hours over 4 days...idk... This is all stuff I Can Not Do for one reason or another (having to pee every 30 minutes lol).

    I see a lot of artists discouraged by this scene and have yet to make a profit from all the time and money spent on preparing for these events. I also see a lot of artists attempt ecommerce with little luck (a rant for another time lol). Idk it just sucks that there is a such huge barrier to entry for 'low art' as there is 'high art'.

    I guess this is why I appreciate the folks @ phx zine fest (WIZD) so much. They had drinks and food for sale!! An air conditioned space! BATHROOMS!!! So epic.



    Jordan Peele's Nope

    (Mad's spoiler free recap!)

    This is the best movie I've seen in like...A long time. Definitely the best thing I've seen this year in theaters. You know when you see a movie and you keep thinking about it for weeks after you first saw it? That's when you know you've seen a good movie.

    I saw Nope completely blind (no spoilers/trailers/screenshots etc) and I would recommend the same if you haven't seen it yet. I plan on watching it again because there's definitely stuff you realize after a second watch (Jupe's cowboy hat...the lamp shade during the monkey scene...that shit blew my mind bro).

    I really appreciate this movie for its close attention and consistent use of thematic details about 'the spectacle' and our role as 'viewers'. Nope weaves visual themes (white circle with hole) into unsuspecting set props and one off jokey remarks hold more weight than they seem. The timing - when we see glimpses of characters (and my beloved hole) with just the right amount of time for us to register what is happening before the movie cuts to another shot. The sound design...The fact that it's a horse movie at its core...The restrained and unrestrained use of violence and gore...The animation history lesson... discussion on the treatment of black + nonwhite actors/workers in the entertainment industry AND the entertainment industry's commodification of Trauma ...Aaaaahh!!!! The characters are also extremely likable - it's not hard for me to fall in love with a ragtag team of neurodivergent kids.

    Anyway, I have so many thoughts on Nope but I'll leave it at this for now.


    COMING AT YOU WITH A REVIEW LIGHTNING ROUND!!!

    I got Covid lol. 3/10. I had a week to do nothing and quarentine and it was great, except I was horribly lonely. The first day I felt better, I started having my period *sobs* so it was a double whammy of feeling gross and hormonal.

    A bunch of friends and I went to Saboten con! 6/10. I had horrible anxiety the first two mornings we went and definitely threw up a lot. Would not recommend. Considering going back to therapy for this one... But! I did get to meet some cool friends and take some fun pics. We also sat in on a Dream SMP panel for like 10 minutes...for some reason. I also found a yaoi vendor that carried Obiwan/Qui-gon Jinn doujinshi, as well as a 'How to Draw Yaoi' book. If it wasn't $20 I wouldve bought it.

    I watched my dearly beloved koinuko play Sweet Pool, an ABO (yaoi?) visual novel. 9/10 It sure was something? (I enjoyed watching her play one of the 'good' endings). Read her review for it here!!! Zenya did nothing wrong.

    For a while now I've been working on a project to scan several MGS doujinshis I own, with a lot of troubleshooting (BUT this project is a lot of fun, 10/10). For one, how the hell do I get a scanner? I am working on a seperate website to host these scans, but I'll probably put them on Mangadex so people can add their own translations. All of the doujins I own are from the mid 2010s with maybe a few exceptions, so they definitely don't exist anywhere online (believe me, I've looked). They also arent offered for sale by the original artists anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the only one who owns the more old/rare ones. Also, it is very exciting to be the first one to archive these, especially as a huge fan of the series. I'll update this site with more info eventually!



    Calorie Mate - Mmmmm...tasty!

    Ya know that yellow food thing you can eat in Metal Gear Solid 3?



    I've always wondered what they actually taste like. It also never really occurred to me that like, they're a real food item you can buy (in Japan).

    Recently, a friend of mine from Japan came to visit! She had Covid the first day she arrived, and sadly had only a few days to actually visit us in person :( Anyhow! She brought many goodies, including *cough* doujinshi *cough* and a ton of Japanese sweets! Anyway, Calorie Mate is a kind of energy bar biscuit in the shape of blocks (they reminded me of sailor biscuits, except, actually chewy and tasty). She brought me 4 different flavors of Calorie Mate and the packaging was all in Japanese, so I didn't know what flavor I was trying until I actually took a bite. The dark red lettering (classic Calorie Mate) contained a chocolate flavored biscuit, and the light blue one had an almond flavor. I have yet to try the black and pink versions.

    10/10 - Very tasty! My friend says she hates the chocolate flavor kind, but I think they're so good. If they sold these at US convenience stores, I would eat them all the time ;u;



    7/21/22 - The little flying fish gets sick (1982) - A Japanese Radiation Exposure safety PSA



    Boy do I LOVE finding videos like this. This PSA was previously lost media! The reason why this footage is so high quality is because it was ripped directly from 16mm tape, which provides a clearer picture than copying footage from a VHS. I hesitate to call this 18 minute cartoon a 'PSA' because there wasn't much information provided on the warnings or effects of radiation sickness, other than a high fever and eventual death. The film depicts fallout 'snow' but doesn't explain what it is, or how radiation affects the body. I would say this cartoon best explores Japan's historical connection to USA nuclear weapons testing more than anything. It is extremely effective in portraying the fear and confusion felt by Japan and communities in the Bikini Atoll islands following the 1954 tests.

    Knowing what will happen to our little flying fish family (the title does give it away lol) creates an incredibly uncomfortable atmosphere for the first half of the cartoon. Little fish goes about his day with his family, playing with his friends and learning to fly for the first time, which he excitedly shows his mom. This PSA has that lovely old anime feel, complete with pleasant narration and adorable character design. The characters morph into a more realistic depiction of a flying fish as they jump out of the water - it's so charming! This makes the extremely abrupt explosion, complete with flashing lights and jarring noise, all the more terrifying (I see comments making connections to Barefoot Gen - and I would say these are both similar in tone). Personifying marine life from the Atolls is an effective way to depict the horrors of fallout, as fish populations were actually affected during these tests, and does not shy away from showing the dead bodies of fish floating on the ocean surface.

    Even though Little Fish only has a run time of 18 minutes, I did find myself tearing up at the end. If you are interested in the emotional impact of the Bikini Atoll tests, or enjoy 80s education animation, please check this out!



    Mads Reviews: eating at a Loving Hut restaurant

    Have you ever eaten in a restaurant owned by a cult? Because by golly I never have until now. My buddy Hen suggested we meet up for dinner, and I wanted to eat somewhere healthy. Both of us had never eaten at a Loving Hut before, but it looked tasty enough. After struggling to find the place, I parked and walked inside to meet my friends. The vibe is... white yoga mom? They have plastic plants, wood planks decorating the walls, and an overall chill atmosphere. I ordered a fried noodle vegetable thing and a seltzer water. Then, we noticed the TV. It's playing a live stream news broadcast of current events, but with several language subtitles over the footage, to the point where the tv footage is completely covered up. We thought...ok weird? But...there was a watermark on the livestream-Supreme Master Tv.com-



    After some brief internet sleuthing, we found the Loving Hut Vegan chain restaurant is owned by Supreme Master Ching Hai, a Vietnamese spiritual leader. The weird quotes on the wall started to make more sense. Wikipedia hesitates to call her organization a 'cult' but I'll definitely say there are some cult-like vibes going on here. Online sources list Ching Hai's numerous controversies, but as far as indoctrinating new members goes, the cult is pretty tame.



    A snippet from their website.

    More images from inside the restaurant.





    Every image of the Supreme Master has this awkward airbrushed effect. If you're god's direct contact, you probably don't want to show your age (she's 72 now).



    Oh yeah, The Supreme Master has a killer website.

    It was honestly a really funny experience eating here. I had just got off from a stressful shift and was pretty irritable. The bizarre experience of eating tasty vegan food in a borderline cult restaurant really helped my mood. I wouldn't mind eating here again but I probably wont be giving them my money.