Worrywart journal

My dedicated space for dumping my emotions and recognizing patterns. The dedicated worry time space. herrgle blrglgblegbglgbeglbgbgl

1)ACTION: 'heres what i did today'

How does that make me feel: emotionally, physically?


7/29/2020-ALL OF chapter 1 is uploaded! Within the next week or so I will be making minor edits to the page (and adding author comments-check back if you fancy yourself some atomic Fun Facts). Please let me know if there are missing links or any other website problems by shooting me an email at madison.pennisi.art@gmail.com, OR you can sign my guestbook like its 1990 :). I'm aware the site isn't very mobile friendly, but I do plan on learning how to adapt it for phone screens.

Among other news, I've been posting more art to my Instagram.Follow that for comic updates!

7/22/2020-HELLO HI!!!! HALF OF CHAPTER 1 IS POSTED!!I'll be updating the Index and other parts of the site as I go. Hopefully all the links work haha.Chapter 2 will be more experimental now that I'm more familiar with html!!

7/3/2020-Recieved a 'care package' from my dad today, which included a bunch of dollar store candy and snacks-they taste a little bad but are extremely nostalgic to me (we used to buy dollarstore candy whenever we'd go to the beach back when I lived in Arroyo Grande). Mom also send me a card:

card saying i survived the greate toilet paper crisis of 2020
Haha, very funny mom. Def gonna keep this for a desperate museum curator in the year 2080.

In other news, tomorrow is the 4th of July, happy birthday you cringe ass country. I hope we do something fun, even though we'll probably stay inside. AZ is pretty bad as far as cases go right now, the entire European Union has less cases that AZ right now (my source is a tumblr post so don't quote me on this). Probably because Doug Ducey is shit at actually keeping the state closed. TBH I have no idea. You would think that 110 degree heat would kill it off, but somehow people are still gathering and spreading it. It's pretty miserable here but somehow watching funny animal cartoons (Netflix's, now Adult Swim's Tuca and Bertie)helps. It's wild how relatable Tuca is omg...It feels like an advanced callout post. Gonna clean da apartment today and maybe do some journaling. We have to go to the store and I'm really dreading it, might do some sort of online pickup thing but most of these store's UI for their site suck ass. UGHHGHHGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also I did not aniticipate how much I would spend on each panel coloring...its worth it I think but also ch1 might take longer than anticipated. I might tackle chapter 2 using a simpler method. Also note to self: figure out how to get a guestbook on my website!!!! I want ppl to tell me what they think.
inverted colors for lady godiva
Sivvagunner uploaded a buncha bops for the JetsetRadio OST, gonna slap a sick one here:

6/28/2020-Surprise surprise I'm actually trying this really cool thing called "counseling". I have no idea if it'll work but it's worth a shot, if anything. We also watched Bong Joon Ho's Parasite, which I've been meaning to do for a while. Though I'm glad I watched it, I'm not too sure if I was ready to completely break down and cry for 30 minutes afterwards. That shit hit way too close to home :(. In other news, we worked out today, and got our first noise complaint!! My stir fry is also geting better each day.

6/26/2020-I have apperently been diagnosed with (what my boyfriend calls) Capitalist Brainrot! We decided as an apartment family that I should not be searing for a part time in person gig right now. COVID cases keep going up in AZ and they dont think it has peaked yet. I 100% understand that safety of myself and my friends come before anything else, but the way I was raised, and the way I've been trained to see the world is basically:

1) You exist to earn money
2) Eventually (and I promise this) you will find and be happy with a job that pays you.
3) This job might not be your 'dream job', but you will be happy enough to stick with it for 15+ years.
4) During this time it will be very hard for you to quit said job, because you've been at it for so long (sunken cost fallacy, right?)
5) Anything you do in your life that doesn't make money is considred a 'hobby'.
6) Therefore, if your artwork doesn't make some sort of revenue, or if your end goal for your craft isn't income related, its a hobby-not a career-and not a job.

This is why I've had such a hard time accepting my art practice that I dedicate 30+ hours a week towards, is a serious job and a career, even if I don't make money off of it. Of course I understand the goddamn need to pay rent and feed yourself (hence my frantic search for some part time job), but I think that it's completely valid to consider one's 'full time, real job to be your art.

On a completely unrelated note, I saw this really fantastic post on Tumblr (in my opinion Tumblr is the best social media platform right now and I have a lot to say about it, but more on that later). Heres the post. I absolutely ADORE museums (despite their horrible history) and efforts by historians and curators to preserve objects for future generations, especially during great historical events. As painful as it might be to record and keep things from ye old COVID era, I understand that it'll be important in teaching future generations about the 2020's. I'm not sure if a Neocities website is the best format for preserving The Current Times, but I can always transfer these diary posts into something more long term.
god dam it
Going to try and preserve all flyers, masks, quarentine art projects, zines, diary entries, protest signs, etc etc etc for future museum exhibits...and you should to!!!!!

6/21/2020-I am an apartment boy! After moving from AZ to Colorado for a month, I'm back in AZ. And lordy howdy.....its fuken hot. I think Arizonans are used to being cooped up for months at a time anyway...but I still want to go out and climb a mountain or something. Good thing the Superstitions are right there *looks to my left where apartment buildings block my view* Hmm. Gonna have to use my imagination I guess!!! Anyway, today I updated this page with some gifs I downloaded from Spriters Resource. Mostly from Mortis Ghost's rpgmaker game OFF, which I absolutely love and adore and should replay again. Sometime in the next few weeks I'll start wrapping up Chapter 1 and upload all the pages in the INDEX. Exciting stuff!